Loving Yourself? How does that work?

Introduction

I just watched a ted talk on YouTube about loving yourself. And I'll tell you frankly that it has been years that I hated myself. And I felt miserable. I see myself as a realist. And the problem with a realist is they spend more time being a pessimist than an optimist. And an optimist spend more time being a realist. So in other words the only way I could get things done is when I would become an optimist again. But I'm digressing.

What is loving yourself?
Loving yourself means that you take the time to love your strengths and accept your weaknesses. It's okay to acknowledge that you have weaknesses as they can be improved. What's not okay is beating yourself up for having weaknesses. Another negative trait that I used to do when things didn't work out the way I wanted to was self criticism. And let me tell you, it never works to self- criticize. All you get out of it is self hatred and it just takes longer to recover. Loving yourself is like a muscle. You need to practice for you to get used to it. And you'll feel so much better when you get the hang of it. You'll feel whole. And happy. And know that you can trust yourself.

How do I love myself?
1. Practice having a positive inner voice
When something bad happens, what's the first reflex of your thoughts? Is it self criticism? Blaming yourself? When having these thoughts, immediately say "Stop" and redirect it to a more positive outlook. I find doing this the hardest but I'm getting the hang of it. Now, when a bad thought comes through my mind, I quickly say stop mentally and say to myself " yes, it was unfortunate but next time you'll get the hang of it" or " it's okay, you'll find someone better". How you'd treat a friend in trouble, that's how you treat yourself.

2. Take care of yourself
Care for yourself how you would've cared for your friend/family. Take a shower even if you don't feel like it, walk in the park, eat healthy food,go to the gym. This is also hard for me as I find that when I'm down in the dumps, all I want to do is lay in bed and "mourn". But when I do finally go out, I feel so much better. Though the first step to act is the hardest. But you can do it!

3. Set a goal
There must be something in life that you want to achieve. Sit quietly in a comfortable place and scribble away. It might not come suddenly. But thinking about it will make you get an idea on what you want to do with your life. Everyone has strengths and something that they can contribute to the world and to onself.

4. Count your blessings
Always be grateful and count your blessings. We are still alive and here on this Earth,still breathing, still having eyesight,sense of smell etc. There's always something to be grateful. Eventhough sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but there always is. Focus on the things you have and make a list if you have to.

5. It's a journey, not a destination
Have a good relationship with yourself, because you are in it for a lifetime. You can learn to love yourself,it just takes practice. And don't beat yourself up when something goes wrong. Instead,take what you can learn from it and grow.

6. Trust that Allah loves you and trust in Him.
"Hasbunallah wanikmal wakil"
It'll be okay in the end. It'll be okay.

Till next time,

Good night.